


Heart of the Guilty

by BlueTigarPaw



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Other, Spoilers, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueTigarPaw/pseuds/BlueTigarPaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disclaimer: Wish it weren't so but none of the Characters are of my own creation </p>
<p>Spoilers for season 3 Final!<br/>Mikey reflects on his actions as the team drifts off into the unknown universe. Faced with a guilty conscience Mike lies to Raph.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart of the Guilty

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first fic! Please be nice, but constructive criticism is always well appreciated.  
> This fic is my interpretation of Mikey's reaction to Splinter's death. I was super inspired by the season final to write this. It is a One Shot for now but may turn into a series with the perspective of all the brothers.  
> Thanks for reading :D

All that was solid dissipated into the black hole of oblivion. Splinted was like that. Their rock. Their home. He had risen them from mere terrapins wondering the sewers, into the disciplined, strong warriors they were. But like the earth from which they had come, he was so cruelly ripped from his four sons, a blood feud ending as its destiny had dictated; through the total annihilation of both parties. All that remained were the memories which lay within the hearts of all of his disciples. Blue eyes followed the infinite horizon of space. The remaining dust of the earth speckled across the background of stars, reflecting diamonds of crystal and obsidian. ‘It’s not fair’, Mikey mused, ‘that’s too beautiful to be the end’. In all the comics he’d read the end of the world was meant to be a bloodied affair, full of darkness and shadows encapsulating hope and light. That’s how Mikey felt at the moment. The contrast between the beautiful, vivid reality of the ever continuing nature of space, and the finality of Splinters death was too much. It was his fault anyway. He was the one who got captured. How many times had he ignored something Leo or Splinter was saying during training? How many times had he ignored Leo’s insistence that he perfect his technique instead of reading comics? He was weak, and that weakness had gotten him captured. It had consequently split up his family and forced Splinted to rely on their enemies for assistance, a fatal mistake. Worst still he had relied on his brothers coming to his rescue! Without a moment’s hesitation, even expected it. And that wasn’t all. He had spilled everything. Told the Triceraton everything he knew about Dimension X after he had been captured. The Utrom and they were not friends, but Bishop's family and friends lived there. Not only had his actions damned Splinter, but now they would reap repercussions onto others. The Triceraton’s actions towards earth left nothing to the imagination of what they would do to Dimension X. Mikey dropped his head between his knees, a sore attempted to return to a state of infancy. His eyes blocked from the universe outside. That’s how Raph found him. Asleep curled up with a comforting thumb in his mouth. “Hey, wake up. Dinner’s ready.” Raph gently push him awake. As Mikey’s blue eyes meet Raph’s green he had to look away. He tossed his body aside so his shell was facing Raph. “Five more minutes…” Mikey crocked to hide the crackling sadness from his voice. Raph watched him sadly, and then sat down, shell bumping Mikey’s careingly. “You know it ok to be sad, it’s just me and you know you’ve seen me at my worst.” Mikey tensed, then turned his head slightly. Bright, new bandages caught his eyes. Obviously Donny’s handiwork, spread neatly over Raph’s knuckles. Smirking brokenly Raph quietly whispered “the walls in my room ain't gonna be right for a while…” The fight had drained from his eyes a while back. The damn broke in Mikey’s eyes as he throw himself at Raph, almost a mirror image of the last time Splinter had disappeared. But this time was different. So very different. For what seemed like ages Raph held his shaking body, rubbing a soothing hand up and down the quivering shell. "It's ok Mikey let it out." At some point Mikey heard either Leo or Don enter the room, but were quickly dismissed by a shake of Raph’s head. Eventually the tears subsided and Mikey in a near silent voice whispered “I’m sorry”. Raph stilled, then push Mikey forwards to meet his clouded blue eyes. “What for?” Mikey desperately wanted to tell the truth. He never used to lie, out of all the brothers being the most honest when it came to feelings; but this… How do you tell your brother you killed your father? Neither Raph, nor any of the others seemed to understand that when it came down to it, everything was his fault. So from that moment Mikey began a string of lies which he knew would not end here. He knew he was still too scared to go to Leo about what he had told the Triceraton. He may not be the smartest turtle but that much he could tell. “For crying all over you, man how wimpy, thanks for putting up with me!” Mikey whipped away the remaining wetness from his eyes and placed a large smile on his face. Raph observed his younger brother for a moment before pulling him back into an embrace. Mikey’s eyes widened in confusion before Raph clarified, “Mikey I don’t care. We’ve been through a lot and if you need to talk about anything you come straight to me! You got that! I don’t care how teary or ‘weak’ it is. This family ain’t gonna fall apart.” The rare sincerity of Raph’s voice shocked Mikey. He wanted to feel joy over Raph’s words, but they only caused the dark droplet of guilt inside him to spread like black ink in water. Mikey gulped down the feeling, trampling it down to a deep place inside his heart. “I know that bro… I promise if there’s anything else I’ll come straight to you,” Mikey lied. “Ok then, let’s go get dinner, man I’m starving!” Raph got up to lead them to the dining area. After a moment’s hesitation Mikey followed with an enormous smile on his face. He knew it failed to reach his eyes.


End file.
